February 2011
45 posts
“…what good science tries to eliminate, good art seeks to...”
– Whether or not John Fowles was a Mystery Science Theater fan remains ambiguous.
January 2011
45 posts
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GSC Has a Moment
OM: What's another word for "synergistically"?
ME: "Douchetastic". Wait, do you mean in a Fluorescence Resonance Energy Transfer way or as part of a pitch?
OM: Proposal.
ME: Suggestion stands.
OM: I can't believe you made fun of my word.
ME: You've been making fun of the yam-gun for days.
OM: Well, you know what it looks like.
ME: No--don't say it--don't ruin the yam-gun!
OM: Might be a little...Freudian.
ME: Damnit, now I'm going to have to eat it with tools.
OM: I was going to wait until you were eating it to tell you.
ME: I already knew.
OM: Just to be clear: totally phallic.
ME: Yep.
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“It was not always a transcendental affection.”
– P1-S1 of Irrational Numbers and the Women Who Love Them for No Logical Reason.
(Project #DN—Title in flux. May end up Irrational(Numbers,Women) depending on what comes next.)
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“The crickets and the rust beetles scuttled among the nettles of the sage...”
– Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is…maybe he didn’t?
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“I’m gonna give you a B- for couples skate, because you woke up yesterday...”
– Remember when we ran an impromptu marathon because we were panicked about a birthday and don’t believe in slowly following through on crazy ideas? Sweet Socrates Fortlow, THIS WAS WORSE.
Manuscript Checklist
Does it contain what it should?
Does it omit what it should?
Is it accurate?
Is it self-consistent?
Does it flow logically?
Is it worded clearly?
Is it worded concisely?
Spell/Grammar check?
Figures/Tables used effectively?
Compliant with journal formatting requests?
Submitted.
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“Show your manuscript to a guy in your lab, a guy in a lab down the hall, and...”
– Old-timey scientist adage, the point of which is to ensure that technical problems, clarity problems, and non-content problems are all caught.
[bowdlerized text that would have provided context for the following:]
…That makes me sound like I would pay handsomely. I totally would. In...
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“Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a...”
– You know, I can’t see nothing wrong with a little Strunk and White*, baby.
(*”Bump n’ Grind” is far below “Girls on Film” on the list of songs to parse 3 syllable items into, but it came to mind first.)
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“I know it’s a crutch; but sometimes,
when I’m without a list, I...”
– ORIGIN Middle English : from obsolete list [appetite, desire] + -less.
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Everyone can enjoy that
Krusty the Clown: Now, boys, the network has a problem with some of your lyrics. Do you mind changing them for the show?
Anthony Kiedis: Forget you, clown.
Chad Smith: Yeah, our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.
Krusty the Clown: Well, okay, but here where it says, "What I got you gotta get and put it in ya," how about just, "What I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss ya."
Flea: Wow. That's much better.
Arik Marshall: Everyone can enjoy that.
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A Pimple on the Face of an Adonis →
There’s an open quote that is just hanging there with no partner in this David Brooks New Yorker piece right around where it almost has taken a gentle turn toward the Upton Sinclair’s Jungle style (except instead of being about the merits of socialism, the revelation is about neuroscientist-perspectives on what matters…and now I kind of want an animal style In and Out Burger...
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“My new pop-o-matic technique is unstoppable.”
– ME
(Alphanumeric project designation #CU actually does involve contacting David Rees.)
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“Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in...”
– —Harper’s Index, October 1989.
The article I am editing right now (as a co-author, not the original draftsman) just led to my seeking out cake. You’re killing me, Smalls. You’re killing me, Smalls, forever.
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“Mom, Dad—you have to understand—there’s an alligator in the...”
– All I want to do is re-listen to that anecdote over again, but if I do, I might lose all the buffered audio in the next window. Half my stories are like that.
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Bisontrepreneurs →
Mentally, 5 years ago was a golden age for me. Er…sort of.
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Hell yes, it is scenic and historic →
Weirdly, I think Mr. Supermagnus was my CU alumni interviewer back in 1997. At an icecream parlor/restaurant that no longer exists in our home county.
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
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“You’ve got 7 careers’ worth of ideas on this sheet.”
– My boss, tacitly giving me the go-ahead to apply for research professorships. My boss, giving me some excellent feedback. My boss, ribbing me about my experimental to-do list.
Weirdly, all this desk-time has given me a lot of time to think about what having my own lab would be like. Being in...
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I think most people miss that about you, and I... →
[bowdlerized]
Anyhow, after shooting back a reply I decided to poke around to see what he was up to, viz. above link. Yeah. I DO feel good about me. Even if that makes me Jack Nicholson to his Helen Hunt. YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! I don’t think it would’ve worked out with me in the long term, but I totally hope he is getting laid these days. Or that he is just really...
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“Captain, eh? Very impressive.
In terms of Chelsea, I’ve been briefly...”
– From a stack of dot-matrix email message printouts of mixed scandalousness from the 90’s that I removed from my parents’ basement the other day.
Back in 1997, my former debate team partner had graduated and become a freshman at Stanford, but, via the magic of electronic mail, we...
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Turning right, pointing, pointing, cat, cat, bird!... →
So, I’m back from outer space, slowly recovering from hydraulic despotism*. Actually I’m still traveling, but CLT has enough wireless internet that I’m essentially back.
(I may have that look on my face that used to lead my boss to say “Stop making that face”, when I was not actively making any faces. Anyhow, psychological warfare is not so complex, though I remain...