1. 15:18 26th Feb 2013

    Notes: 58

    Tags: the simpsons

    image: Download

    Wait, would a weather application display information on the lock screen? Then it would be completely frictionless¹. I could almost think about investing in such things.
¹ Like an introductory physics cow.

    Wait, would a weather application display information on the lock screen? Then it would be completely frictionless¹. I could almost think about investing in such things.

    ¹ Like an introductory physics cow.

     
  2. Matt Fraction Meets A Milhouse Divided

    1. MF: ...i’ll never outwrite stuart immonen’s hand so why try? tell him the undrawable stuff or the raw physical stuff and watch him bring the abstract to life and to give the visceral an emotional weight.
    2. ◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣
    3. Kirk: Come on, Luanne, you know what this is.
    4. Luanne: Kirk, I don't know what it is.
    5. Kirk: [sighs] It could not be more simple, Luanne. You want me to show this to the cat, and have the cat tell you what it is? 'Cause the cat's going to get it.
    6. Luanne: I'm sorry, I'm not as smart as you, Kirk. We didn't all go to Gudger College.
    7. [timer dings]
    8. Kirk: It's dignity! Gah! Don't you even know dignity when you see it?
    9. Luanne: Kirk, you're spitting.
    10. Kirk: Okay, genius, why don't you draw dignity.
    11. [she does so; everyone gasps in recognition -- we can't see it, however]
    12. Dr. Hibbert: Worthy of Webster's.
     
  3. Plays: 229

    There is probably no chapter on songs from The Simpsons in the Ars Memorativa, but there probably should be.

     
  4. Genius at Work

    1. Doug: [wearing a T-shirt that says "Genius at Work"] Hi. A question for Miss Bellamy. In episode 2F09 when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib twice in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is some sort of a magic xylophone or something? Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.
    2. June Bellamy: Uh, well...
    3. Homer: I'll field this one. [To Doug] Let me ask you a question. Why would a man whose shirt says "Genius at Work" spend all of his time watching a children's cartoon show?
    4. [pause]
    5. Doug: I withdraw my question. [takes a bite from a bar of chocolate]
     
  5. image: Download

    It is a raw deal for me to be *so clever* in pretty much the exact same way that I used to be *clever*.  Higher standards imply I’m shrinking as a person.
I have to start making different choices.

    It is a raw deal for me to be *so clever* in pretty much the exact same way that I used to be *clever*.  Higher standards imply I’m shrinking as a person.

    I have to start making different choices.

    (Source: sites.google.com)

     
  6. Restraint is tough.  I think this is mostly out of my system, though. Mostly.

    FUN FACT: While definitely not as amusing as I think I am, I’m mostly just confusing without a rudimentary vocabulary in American Sign Language, French, the Simpsons, and typefaces.  I may’ve crossed the line into alienating. There’s not a trombone in the world sad enough to punctuate that thought.

    I was thinking the other night that, of the many schools I am applying to work at, I’m not applying to the school where I gave that talk during which I formulated the title "Silent Public Speaking: What I Learned When I Learned To Sign (My Experience as a Sign Linguist)".  Bummer!  I could still do it.  I could do it 9 times.  Once would be enough.  The ASL translator did not appreciate how many times I said “spectrometry” in a 1 minute period.  I should have warned her.

     
  7. Ol’ Gil’s in the dark here!
Previously on 2(Clever)x½, [problems].

    Ol’ Gil’s in the dark here!

    Previously on 2(Clever)x½, [problems].

     
  8. Coffee’s for closers only.
The fact that this image was not among the image search results already and even HAD to be made shocks me, internet.  Put your gesture with the fingers away; I am, and will remain, shocked.

    Coffee’s for closers only.

    The fact that this image was not among the image search results already and even HAD to be made shocks me, internet.  Put your gesture with the fingers away; I am, and will remain, shocked.

     
  9. image: Download

    The University of Minnesota’s Spankological Protocol surely caused as many prob-diddley-oblems as it solved. 

    The University of Minnesota’s Spankological Protocol surely caused as many prob-diddley-oblems as it solved. 

     
  10. I hope it wasn’t my fault.

    I hope it wasn’t my fault.

     
  11. I didn’t think he’d do “Moon River,” but then —bam!—second encore!

    (It’s one of my favorite moments.)

     
  12. And there is another charm about him, namely, that he puts animals in a pleasing light and makes them interesting to mankind. For after being brought up from childhood with these stories, and after being as it were nursed by them from babyhood, we acquire certain opinions of the several animals and think of some of them as royal animals, of others as silly, of others as witty, and others as innocent.

    -Flavius Philostratocaster on Richard McClure Scarry*

    You may remember him from such films as:  Christmas Ape, Christmas Ape goes to Summer Camp, Gladys the Groovy Mule, The Seven-Year Old Bitch, Look Who’s Still Oinking, Birds: Our Fine Feathered Colleagues, Earwigs, Ew!Fuzzy Bunny’s Guide to You-Know-What, and Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off.

    Surely I knew the M in RMS stood for McClure, right? 
    Where’s my domestic mongoose?

    *Maybe not.

     
  13. Follow-up:
I don’t quite know what is wrong with me, but it is ever unsettling, whether they started there or not, when things inside my head suddenly become things outside my head.  It’s the suddenness, maybe? 
Also: don’t know why “Cletus de Milo” is so amusing to say.  He’s probably my favorite Hill-William, though.

    Follow-up:

    I don’t quite know what is wrong with me, but it is ever unsettling, whether they started there or not, when things inside my head suddenly become things outside my head.  It’s the suddenness, maybe? 

    Also: don’t know why “Cletus de Milo” is so amusing to say.  He’s probably my favorite Hill-William, though.

     
  14. Memory Cascade!
    It’s not a well-worn path, but surely it was an inevitable route.

    Jesusita en Chihuahua*,
    Revolution in Santo Poco,
    …Ausgezeichnet. 

    Surely this day will end in the land of chocolate. 

    *I see a little Jesus in every Chihuahua: especially when they make with the sermons while mounting things.  That may be as far as I can push into music-related multi-lingual ecumenical dog-humor.  

     
  15. image: Download

    Just sayin’, if presented with this picture, amid a slew of references to Adam and the Ants, Adamantane, or unwavering stubbornness, there would be nothing in response at the other side of the table.  Not a music guy, not a science guy, not a word guy, not even a comic-book guy. 

But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from 2 different worlds! 

In my defense, he did look like a young Mick Fleetwood.  It was a really good beard.  And an awkward couple years.Bloop-bloo-bloop.  Okay…done obsessing.

    Just sayin’, if presented with this picture, amid a slew of references to Adam and the Ants, Adamantane, or unwavering stubbornness, there would be nothing in response at the other side of the table.  Not a music guy, not a science guy, not a word guy, not even a comic-book guy. 

    But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills.
    You’re from 2 different worlds!

    In my defense, he did look like a young Mick Fleetwood. 
    It was a really good beard.  And an awkward couple years.
    Bloop-bloo-bloop.  Okay…done obsessing.