One of many awkward me-affiliated places.
Time-Dependent SemiPublic Memory Bank,
Super Secret Dumping/Proving Ground,
Displaced Miscellany Collection,
3 Hours in the Future (EST)
Somewhere over the Rockies, I had pulled the headphones out of my mp3 playing device to tune into what was on the skyTV and plugged in to the armrest while it was still tuned to the ’60s audio programming channel just as Archie and the Drells introduced some music one could tighten up with.
Related—by some glorious turn of fortune after 50 hours of mixed luck— on this second flight, I was seated windowside of a larger gentleman who’d purchased an extra seat and who witnessed from across the margin a sudden palsy development as my chest *did* tighten up because—ugh: feelings.
AL: Yeah, I took the Jobbo, and I think at that time… I probably wanted more than anything to be a cosmetic surgeon. MM: [glottal wheeze followed by chuckles] SS: I love you. AL: Does that sound— SS: I *love* you so much. MM: Ohhh, Hey Adam, Adam, why did you want to be a cosmetic surgeon? AL: Is that what it’s called? A cosmetic surgeon, I forget SS: LIke a plastic surgeon kind of thing? MM: I think maybe they call it a lady— AL: Plastic surgeon, cosmetic, elective surgery on ladies, I wanted… MM: La— Lady prettier. AL: Make ladies prettier. ‘Cause I knew somebody who was and he was just so cool and he had a huge house.
There’s maybe some implicit vocational judgment here, but that’s pretty clearly a baby who’s aiming higher than “butler”.
I shipped my instrument back this morning so I spent the afternoon walking from La Jolla to Solana beach. This involved my cutting through a nude beach where all I could think was:
My policy of avoiding awkward beach conversations by walking in knee deep water regardless how cold it is was mostly effective with 2 exceptions:
1. Naked guy who hollered “You’re getting your pants wet!” to which I responded “I know, right? I did not forget my bathing suit!” because it seemed appropriately inscrutable. There’s not really a good response. So he went about his business.
2. Naked guy—well, guy in a Mets hat, otherwise birthday suited—who misinterpreted my natural Charlie-Brown-Christmas gait for maybe depression and sidled up to ask if I was “Having a rough day?”. Because I thought he was further than he was, I maybe yelled back a little louder than necessary, “NO, I AM JUST ENJOYING THE BEACH!”. I may have scared him away, which I felt a little bad about because who is being more disturbingly and unnecessarily honest than a naked stranger. …But I am weird about clothed strangers trying to breach my perimeter, too. And I’m weird with clothed people that I *like* NOT trying to breach the perimeter. I am pretty much just weird, full stop. But clothed in public.
Bits of this had been floating in the playlist since the Millenium Falco megamix debacle last month, but only yesterday evening, in a rental car on the way back from a Philadelphia area campus field-engineering gig, did my ears finally alight on the missing form.
A bell rang, an angel got its wings, and we all had a little moment.
This was on my desktop labeled “IncidentalPowder”, though it could have just as easily been “MorningBoners”. It isn’t though, because I’m a lady and a professional* [most days] and so I’m pretty careful about file nomenclature.
(*scientist: not audio engineer, clearly. The internal association engine went from drunken hobo to this pretty quick, though.)
While not generally inclined to superimpose text on images willy-nilly, seeing a bunch of Stanley Kubrick quotes on Adam Lisagor’s face could be pretty great, right? Pretty great.
In normal adult humans, the rate of excretion of gas per rectum ranges between 200 and 2000 ml per day.
Most people produce about 1 to 4 pints a day [that’s 473-1893 mL]…passing gas 14 to 23 times a day is normal.
Greater volumes of gas evacuation were associated with both increased number of evacuations and larger gas volumes per evacuation. The number of gas evacuations linearly increased from 2 ± 1 per hour at 0 mL/min infusion to 22 ± 2 per hour at 30 mL/min. Likewise, the gas volume per evacuation increased from 11 ± 4 to 76 ± 8 mL, respectively.
It would seem that if one could maintain a small evacuation volume for each event—i.e., closer to 15 mL/fart than 84 mL/fart—that 72 FPD—i.e., 1080 mL per day—would not be unreasonable.
Today was obviously my first weekday of being unemployed. It feels like Sunday. I think the whole month is going to feel like a Sunday. I awkwardly went to the pool hours before it was open; I swam a little over a mile; I picked up a bridesmaid dress; I ate an ill-conceived* foot of sandwich; I seethed for about a minute that Sprinkles got here first (but hopefully he’ll be amused by this); I did some listening. I drank 5 cups of coffee and I think I’m about to steal 2 more. Or I’ll fashion some T-shirts into a vest to put this on. (I probably won’t.)
I read about merit badges! Ohmygoodness, let’s be clear: if I didn’t have a fair bit of work to do during this period, I would have a disturbing collection of funemployment merit badges by the time I returned to paid science.
*Food babies are almost always ill-conceived. Hmm. hmm.
It’s tough sometimes to always be in the position of educator on matters of American culture. Luckily, I spent an impressive amount of youth-time with the television and consequently my receptiveness to screen-based pedagogy means that I remain adept at explaining both “Jammin’ on the One” and “Droppin’ on the Deuce.”
Despite all being released in 2004, I was always under the impression that Inkling of Doubt was the prequel to Bring Back My Squid, whose sequel Black! Blaque! Blacch! probably was most critically acclaimed. Spaghetti western omelet trilogies are weird like that, though.
Arnold’s next break came when he made an appearance on The Merv Griffen Show, a popular television talk show. Arnold was on to speak about bodybuilding. The great comedienne Lucille Ball just happened to see the show, and was struck by Arnold’s charm and wit. Lucy phoned Arnold and invited him to appear with her on her upcoming TV special called Happy Anniversary and Good-bye, co-starring Art Carney. Lucy arranged for Arnold to take acting lessons before his appearance.
Arnold applied the acting lessons Lucy provided to his next film project. Director Bob Rafelson, fresh off of his success with the film Five Easy Pieces, needed an actor to play the part of a bodybuilder named Joe Santo in his upcoming film Stay Hungry.
The author of the book Stay Hungry, Charles Gaines, arranged a meeting between Arnold and Rafelson. Arnold got the part. He loved playing a bodybuilder. In the movie he falls in love with the woman who runs the gym where he trains. This part was played by Sally Fields. Jeff Bridges also starred in the movie, which was released in 1976.
“He worked so hard on the details,” recalls director Rafelson. “One scene called for Joe Santo to play the fiddle. Arnold practiced the movement of playing so much that when we finally filmed it, it looked like he was really playing the fiddle!”
From a 1992 Unauthorized biography of A. Schwarzenegger, Ch. 3, p. 23: “The Early Movies”. (cf., v.v. important.)
![AL: Yeah, I took the Jobbo, and I think at that time… I probably wanted more than anything to be a cosmetic surgeon. MM: [glottal wheeze followed by chuckles]SS: I love you.AL: Does that sound—SS: I *love* you so much. MM: Ohhh, Hey Adam, Adam, why did you want to be a cosmetic surgeon?AL: Is that what it’s called? A cosmetic surgeon, I forgetSS: LIke a plastic surgeon kind of thing? MM: I think maybe they call it a lady—AL: Plastic surgeon, cosmetic, elective surgery on ladies, I wanted…MM: La— Lady prettier. AL: Make ladies prettier. ‘Cause I knew somebody who was and he was just so cool and he had a huge house.
There’s maybe some implicit vocational judgment here, but that’s pretty clearly a baby who’s aiming higher than “butler”.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/ec252c6d56d4adb4e0af52132ea85825/tumblr_mleta1e7E21qza3e8o1_500.jpg)
![While not generally inclined to superimpose text on images willy-nilly, seeing a bunch of Stanley Kubrick quotes on Adam Lisagor’s face could be pretty great, right? Pretty great.
(Sandy Kubrick? That guy has got IT.)
[via explore-blog.]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7s4tmDl111rqpa8po1_500.jpg)
![archiemcphee:
…He’s covered in meat…
[via That’s Nerdalicious!]
Meatsuit! It’s better than imagined with the bacon-overalls.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3sj3zvOwJ1qzfsnio1_500.jpg)
